


Forgive me,  Karkat

by mollieme309



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-08
Updated: 2013-07-08
Packaged: 2017-12-18 02:55:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/874842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mollieme309/pseuds/mollieme309
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat finds out about his brother's obsessive cutting and self-harm.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forgive me,  Karkat

**Author's Note:**

> So, this was a one-shot for a friend, I'm not too proud of it, but a few others insisted I posted it. I hope you guys enjoy it. I may continue it if I get enough positive feedback, but for now, it's staying as it is.

“Karkat... No, this is wrong...” For once the sweatered fool was at a loss for words as his younger sibling sat his lap, his arms elegantly draped over the elder’s shoulders as he worked at his neck.  
“Shut up, Kankri. Just shut up for once, you arrogant fucker.” The 15 year old’s voice was a coarse whisper against the soft flesh, sending shivers down his brother’s back. He knew it was wrong, but he couldn’t help himself. He’d sat back and watched Cronus (Kankri’s boyfriend for a whopping total of five years) silence the blabbering asshole with kisses since he, himself, was about ten. Now though, he had a strange urge just to fuck his brains out, anything to get him to shit the hell up.

“Karkat, please. This is incest and you know how triggering that co-“Kankri was cut short by a rough kiss, his eyes widened in fright. He knew his brother was always ‘Rough’ but mostly with his words. ‘All bark and no bite’ as some would say. He didn’t like that phrase though, as it could be triggering to people who considered themselves Otherkin of a dog. He eventually gave in to Karkat’s demands, forcing himself to kiss back. This was disgusting. They weren’t animals, not even close. Where did the little brat even come up with this type of stuff? Not long after, he was interrupted from his thoughts as Karkat tugged at the crimson wool. He was barely able to stutter out a ‘No’ before it was torn from him anyway, the youngster making his way ‘Down-town’ to kiss and suck at his chest. He couldn’t risk getting any marks from him, what would Cronus think? Would he believe him when he told him Karkat, the innocent red-head could do such harm to his boyfriend? He was so confused, and scared. What was even going on? Was it a dream? For fuck’s sake what happened to the warmth that was once connecting the two boys. There was a small gasp as Karkat picked up one the pale hands that were connected to the social justice blogger. 

Obvious red scars were clearly defined on his wrists, usually hidden by the wool. They looked worse than they really were as the wool irritated them quite a bit. He tried to take his hand back, only revealing more scars. There were a few that looked fresh, as if they were done that morning. He didn’t even have a reason to do it anymore, he just, did. Tears welled in Kankri’s eyes as he tried to push him away. “Stop!” He yelled, grabbing his sweater before darting. He tripped over his feet, giving himself an extra push up the stairs. His ankle hurt now, but he kept running, wanting to coward away in his room or the bathroom. It was unreal how much he hid from his family, and his boyfriend for that matter. The freckle faced blogger slammed his door once he finally gotten up to it, sliding behind it onto the floor as he looked at his arms. There was never any sense in it. There never would be. He was a coward, running and hiding from his problems behind a metallic object, behind a bottle of rum, or a bottle of pills.  
All he cared about was the wellbeing of others, trying his best to watch what he said around them in case of ‘triggering’ or upsetting them in general. He needed someone to care about him, someone to hold him and reassure him. Yeah, he had that. Of course he had that. And he loved it. But he wanted, no, needed his significant other to know why he was in pain. To know why he was crying. Or to know why he was avoiding him. He didn’t mean to do any of it. He didn’t mean to hurt people, or give them headaches with his long winded lectures. He didn’t fucking mean to. 

Kankri gripped handfuls of his hair, screaming into his knees as he doubled over awkwardly. “Please, don’t be mad at me, Karkat...” He mumbled, not expecting his brother to be listening to him on the other side of the door. 

“Don’t worry, Kankri... I’m not. I love you, you fucking asshole.” Karkat sat on the opposite side of the door, his back pressed to it as his head rolled lazily. He couldn’t get the image out of his head. And his mind was starting to turn it into things he didn’t want to see. Did he only hack at his wrists? How long had he done it? Why? He shook his head, pulling his own knees to his chest. Fuck this. He needed to forget about it. But how could you possibly forget something like that? Especially when you sat and imagined the razor and the towels used to clean up. All the blood gushing, the grimace on your brother’s face. As much as he would hate to admit it, Karkat admired his older brother quite a bit. And he wanted to be exactly like him, minus the nonstop blabbering of course. But what could he expect? Kankri wanted to be like his father, whom was a preacher. But since Kankri didn’t believe in any of that, he lectured about the social injustices of today’s society. And how unfair and cruel everybody was to each other. 

Kankri’s breath caught in his throat as he heard the familiar voice. “I-I... I’m...” He took a deep breath, in an attempt to calm himself. “Pl-please... I, I-...” He hadn’t stuttered in quite some time, only doing it when he was severely upset or in a vast amount of pain. “J-just... I’m s-sor... I’m... S-s... Fuck...” His voice shrank and shriveled into nothingness, lost into oblivion as he spoke. Why couldn’t get the oh-so-simple words out of his wind hole? Why did his stutter have to pay him an unwelcomed visit now? Why, why, why? 

Karkat slipped his hand under the door, wiggling his fingers as he hoped to grab his attention. “Shh, it’s alright, Kanny. I’m not mad. I should be the one apologizing for trying to force you into... Such disgusting acts.” He licked his lips, his throat growing abnormally dry. He would have to deal with it for the time being as he wasn’t about to leave his brother like he usually would. When he broke into stuttering, he knew it was serious. There was a long silence before he felt longer finger’s curling over his hand and squeezing. Kankri nodded from behind the door, knowing that Karkat couldn’t see it. 

“I-I’m, s-sor... Sorry, Ka-kar... Karka-.. 

“Shh, it’s okay. Calm down.”

“A-alright...”


End file.
